MLB Star Power Index: Why Managers Should Do Their Jobs on Horseback; Phillies Rob Thompson wins the main battle

you are welcome in MLB Star Strength Index – A weekly quest that determines with shocking authority which player controls the current zeitgeist of the sport, at least according to this dystopian writer’s narrow visions. While one’s presence on this list is often ceremonial in nature, it can also be for purposes of pathos or irony. The players listed are not in a specific order, just like a phone book. To the honorees this week…

The idea of ​​managing games on horseback

The official position of this space has always been that major league managers should do their jobs – that is, running baseball games – while riding. Significantly diminished, they are forced to wear players’ uniforms instead of, say, a seal coat with inlaid buttons and braided shoulders paired with a full-dress chaco hat and brass knee boots fitting for a coronation or tomb. Sadly, they were made to resemble those who commanded them, albeit in a stronger form. When leaders appear to be leading, there is necessarily a confiscation of power. This can lead to the following, which are actual footage from the MLB game:

When a leader can be mistaken for the companion of chaos, rudeness takes the place of honest toil. This, combined with the general uplifting of baseball’s consumer, is why managers must manage rides.

In terms of commendable detail, the MLB rules must state that each manager’s horse must be a pearl-colored Andalusian stallion of at least 17 hands, loyal and endurance companions. The manager and his horse should be positioned in a foul area along the third base line on a small protrusion twice the height of the bowler’s hill. The third base coach should act as an assistant flag bearer who is able to eavesdrop on Souza’s exciting run when driving. Surveying gameplay through a pair of nested single-field binoculars isn’t entirely necessary given the modest dimensions involved, but the boom is encouraged. Field players must be positioned by marking the cavalry sword with a basket or rolled topographic map.

At this point, you may be concerned that the horse will be vulnerable to hard balls, especially those that have been dragged by the right hitter. You’ll be relieved to hear that MLB Game Day Operations Manuals will call for each manager’s mare to be outfitted with 16th-century horse armor inspired by the armor of Count Antonio IV Colalto (1548–1620) and adorned with full Italianate ornament. Now imagine the horse and Kevin Cash above his head showing no hint of reflex when a foul ball shoots out from the near side of the flanchard and reverberates throughout the barely packed Tropicana field. Perhaps the basic rules there say that the ball is played if it hits a horse.

Anyway, a baseball enthusiast might be curious at the moment to see what all of this might look like, and a web-based app made for a better life by science called DALL-E mini lets us take a look at how things should be.

So what happens when you enter, for example, the search terms “Joe Torre” and “horseback” in a DALL-E mini? this is:

Go Tori runs on horseback as all available gods willed

DALL-E mini

and this is:

Go Tori still ran on horseback as all available gods wanted

DALL-E mini

Look at the super brave. Look at the inflated qualities of leadership. See baseball as it always should be.

Changes in pitch, as expected, are announced by turning the pitch at full speed, which is made in the presence of pennants, pentathlons and drums.

What about fired managers? As punishment for their professional failures, they are denied a profitable job so that they can ride on Sugar and remain so for the entire duration of the fantasy camp game with all its attendant misery:

On the upper side, you can keep the 16th-century horse armor inspired by the armor of Count Antonio IV Colalto (1548–1620) and decorated with full Italianate ornament.

Rob Thompson, Phyllis

It was a time when it seemed to be one of the most pressing races of the 2022 season. By “that,” we mean, of course, the dangerous human struggle for the Penn State MLB Championship.

The hard-earned Phillies is vying for a fourth consecutive state title, but not long ago the Novice Buccaneers were on top. At the conclusion of the match on May 31, the Buccaneers emerged with a one-match lead over Velez, and the residents of Keystone State from Hermitage to the King of Prussia stood with great interest.

Subsequently, the Velez made a management change, replacing Joe Girardi with Rob Thompson’s temporary sketches. Thompson proceeded to win the first eight games of his tenure, which coincided with a set run of the drain tour in Pittsburgh. With what did we leave? The smoky crust of what was once a valid contender for the Pennsylvania State Major League Baseball. As of this writing, Phil Thompson has a five-game advantage over Corsair, and any assessment of Bob Notting’s utter nonchalance would reveal that the race is over.

Had it not been for Rob Thomson’s intervention, this race would have been the most engaging race in living memory. For these offences, we present Mr. Thompson with his agreed penalties:

Rob Thompson, Pennsylvania baseball plot saboteur, is attacked by horses

DALL-E mini

Penn State hasn’t fallen yet, but the Pennsylvania Major League Baseball has definitely fallen.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.