Emily Ratajkowski’s divorce is the Super Bowl for overconfident straight people
Don’t let this flop releases Wednesdays on all audio streaming platforms, including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, embroiderer and After.
Earlier this month, multiple news outlets reported that model/author/weird baby carrier Emily Ratajkowski went out on town without a wedding ring. EmRata had been off the market since 2018, when she married Sebastian Bear McClard, a New York scene kid/producer perhaps best known for having a very public argument with his landlord and looking so Dennis the Menace had his lips filled. But when gossip accounts like TwoMe began posting whispers that McClard cheated on Ratajkowski (which was later confirmed by an unnamed source who spoke to Page Six), the straight male community became simply invigorated, counting apparently the days until she becomes available as a child before Christmas Day waiting to have a unicorn toy that shits Nerds.
At least, that’s the impression one gets when roaming the world of gossip. Everyone from Drake to John Mayer (identified in a blind article as an “A-list musician who has a divorced kink”) to Trevor Noah (who she was spotted allegedly “canoodling” with at the White Party on the 4th July by Mike Rubin) was said to be keeping tabs on Ratajkowski, according to various completely unverifiable tips submitted by readers to accounts like TwoMe.
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Is the My body the author seems remotely interested in bouncing back with one of these men? Not really. In fact, she seems wildly indifferent to any speculation about her private life, as evidenced by the baseball cap she wore recently with the subtle message, “It’s no matter what.” I don’t mind”) during a casual stroll past the paparazzi recently. As usual after an attractive A-list woman experienced a major life change, the press largely focused on her wardrobe choices, such as a “racy bra” she wore during from a “girls night out in New York” or an orange bikini top she recently donned that “oozes a-peel sex.” We hope, however, that she takes all the time she needs to recover from her breakup like any of us would: periodically crying, spending way too much time with her Womanizer, and taking Molly to a bar in dive and go home with a Graphic Designer/Flat Earther.
This week on Don’t Let This Flop, rolling stoneIn the Internet News and Culture Podcast, co-hosts Brittany Spanos and Ej Dickson talk about the aftermath of EmRata’s breakup as well as the Pink Sauce saga, hard seltzer influencers, why American Girl dolls do their return and whether the birds are nice or scary.
Don’t let this flop releases Wednesdays on all audio streaming platforms, including Apple podcast, Spotify, Amazon Music, embroiderer and After.
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